Exclusive: 4 Days in Western Sahara

Caravan walking from Central America to the USA

Hello all my darlings! Yesterday I was challenged by a friend to put my money where my mouth is and try to help the refugees walking to the USA. So I rose to the call and started a group and a fundraiser on Facebook. I am hoping to expand this to a website and raise as much money and a network of people that will provide shelter and transportation to help these refugees. The group on Facebook is called Mutual Aid and Homes for Caravaners located here: Mutual Aid and Homes for Caravaners   It is a nascent group, and I have contacted several media outlets in the hopes of getting some publicity for the group. I also need a contact information for people at the border to help coordinate transportation, shelter and food, medical supplies, etc. This is a huge undertaking, but with all the loving people out there in this country, I know we can make it happen. Please join the group and join me on a Facebook live discussion on Monday, November 5th at 6pm PST. Lets show the Trump administration and the trumpsters that there are Americans with compassion and love for we are all one family, the Human Family!

Sorry for the Absence October 27, 2018

Hello all my beautiful people out there! I have been away from the blog for awhile. I was absent due to some situations that I have been trying to prevent. I found out a few months ago that the cancer has metastasized to my bones as well as to my heart. I took some time away to deal with the trauma of this news and now I am back after having to make some major decisions. Some dreams had to be let go of and some had to be borne anew. I have let go of my life coaching business as it had become too demanding to constantly try to find clients and build the business here in California. I may resurrect it again some time in future. I have decided to focus most of my time to Life with Metastatic Cancer. I truly feel that this is where I can help the most.

Back in September I had decided to do a month long juice fast program to try to stem the growth of the cancer, but it made me too sick from detoxing and I almost ended up in the hospital again. I had to realize that after the plueral effusion debacle, that I was still too weak to put my body through so much detoxing.  Plus my heart was overcome with anger and sadness while watching the Kavanaugh hearings. It brought up so much trauma for me in regards to sexual harassment and rape. I felt all consumed with rage and sadness for a few weeks. Seeing so many people I had respected come out against Dr. Ford really sent me around a bend. I expressed my feelings on Facebook live videos but could not write about it at the time. Thankfully with the help of my therapist and some lovely women I know, I was able to overcome the rage and sadness. There is still a lot of healing that needs to happen and forgiveness that needs to be done. I have lost much of my way since losing my marriage and moving to California.

Then there is the stress of my health and out financial well being. I ended up getting a part time job because we needed to buy a new car. Well, the car buying happened way sooner than we expected and that was a stressful couple of weeks. We did get a newish car, a 2016 VW Jetta.

Life with Metastatic Cancer #4 Medium

California Update

Hello my lovely darlings! I have been here almost one month. Today and yesterday have been murderously hot! I have been getting headaches from the heat, so I have not been able to do a lot of blogging and such, plus I have been busy buying furniture, trying to secure healthcare (such a different VA system here in Cali) and dealing with social security. But, we finally got internet and cable installed last weekend, so life is certainly getting better and better. And it was just in time for the World Cup! I have World Cup fever! I also went to my very first cancer support group meeting last Thursday. I was the youngest person there but what can you do? It helps to see others struggling as you are.

I have some projects that I am working on that I will reveal at a later date. So excited!

Update on playing soccer: had to postpone the training regime as I am weaker than I had anticipated and the move has kicked my butt more than just a little bit. I have other things I must work on, like getting used to the heat again, before I can proceed with the training regimen. Plus I need to get an update on my health situation as well.

Look for a new blog post weekly starting on Friday. I will be writing about a variety of topics, so check back regularly as things are about to get interesting!

California

Hello my lovelies. Made it to California and boy oh boy, has it been a busy week. Trying to settle in, buy furniture, get to know the bus system, adjust to the 9 hour time difference, adjust to the heat and sun, but I am loving it. We have a really nice apartment, that is in a quiet neighborhood, close to the bus line. Still have so much to do, set up healthcare, find a job, see social security. But rest assured, I will get it all done and get going on this new life with my amazing son! I hope to have internet at the house soon so I can keep in touch more often! Miss you all in Norway! Hope life is good!

Living with Metastatic Cancer #3

Sickness

Hello all my darlings! So sorry I have been away from the site, but I have been very ill for the last few weeks. I was suffering with the flu, brought on by the crazy weather here in Oslo at the beginning of spring. This illness has happened to me each spring that I have been here. Now I am fully recovered and will begin again! I have missed communicating with you all.
In love and appreciation,
Emberlea

Breast Cancer & Cruciferous Veg

Dr. Michael Gregor has many videos on cancer and ways to prevent and survive. It is amazing how adding broccoli to your diet can have a tremendous impact on your life span if you have or have had or may get cancer.

Living with Metastatic Cancer #2

End Goal Update: March 26, 2018

Weekly progress update on End Goal: Play Soccer

Hey all my darlings! I have been progressing slowly on the running as I have not run in a long time and I have been detoxing from chemotherapy and hormone treatments for the last 4 months.

Ran 15 minutes Wednesday and Thursday
Ran 10 minutes Sunday
Walked at least 30 minutes each day of the week.
Strength trained Tuesday and Thursday.

Weight: 66.2 kg
Waist: 34 in
Hips: 37 in
Arms: L: 11 in  R:11 in
Thighs: L: 20.5 in  R: 20.5 in
Chest: 32 in

So from last week, I gained 0.6 kg, no change in inches except for thighs, where I lost 0.5 in per each thigh. So not much changed, but it is only a week. I will be increasing my running incrementally over the next few weeks, and maybe I will get to run outside, but alas, it is snowing again today! This week I will also be adding in stairs.

Left Facebook

Today I deleted my Facebook account in protest to the egregious malfeasance on the part of Cambridge Analytica and Facebook. I highly suggest that all users of Facebook download their account information and see what information FB is using. The fact that FB knew what CA was up to over 2 years ago and said nothing leaves me with a sick feeling in my stomach and strengthened the distaste I have felt about some of FB's activities for a few years. In light of this information about FB and CA, I saw a report that Mark Zuckerberg in 2004 called FB users f*ing idiots for trusting him back then. So you can see the nefarious intentions from the beginning. Had I have known this tidbit, I would never has signed up for FB in the first place. I am glad to be gone and will not be using WhatsApp or Instagram either as they are also owned by FB. Good riddance! I have recently signed up with 2 other social media sites: Mastodon and MeWe. Mastodon is open source while MeWe is much like FB, but without the intrusion. You can connect with me on both, Mastodon @emberlea and MeWe Emberlea McCulligh.

Places I've Been! Places I'm going! Dreams!

Hey all my lovelies! I am so excited about this post because I have never actually listed all the countries I have been to and the things I have experienced. I spent most of my life not traveling the world. I was a single mom for a long time and I truly adored being a mom, especially when you have  an awesome kid! Now I am 44, but my son turned 18 when I was 40, and I was so looking forward to traveling the world once he was grown (could not travel much while he was growing up for a myriad of reasons). Unfortunately, right before I turned 40 I discovered a lump (a large one) in my left breast. This has taken me on a 4 year journey so far that was in the beginning so stressful and like a non-stop roller coaster ride, but eventually slowed down. But the cancer journey really started my world travelling anyway (hint: never let anything stop you if you can from doing what you want). 

The very first country I visited was in 2003 and it was lovely Mexico. Two of my aunts, myself, my son and my cousin all went to a small town across the border called Cuidad Acuna. I absolutely loved it. The boys and I got to see a wedding, we shopped at a local craft fair and saw so much lovely architecture and met some amazing people. It was a whirlwind visit, over much too fast. I look forward to visiting Mexico more in the future.

 In 2015, a friend of mine offered me a trip to Puerto Rico and a cruise to the Caribbean. I had never been on a cruise, but I did enjoy it and I met my husband while on this particular trip. Puerto Rico was amazing, I loved every minute of the 17 days I was there. I went all over that beautiful island. I saw so many amazing things and enjoyed some truly gorgeous beaches! The only thing I did not like about the cruise was the limited time we had at each island. I would have loved to have seen the islands at night and had more time to talk to locals and see more, but there is always time to go back!

In late summer of 2015, I moved to Oslo, Norway. In October of 2015, I traveled to Riga, Latvia. What an amazing city! While there, we attended a tribute concert to John Lennon. Riga is a gorgeous city and the food is amazing, especially if you are vegetarian! 

I have seen quite a bit of Norway, but not as much as I would like to have seen as a few months after I arrived, I was diagnosed with metastatic cancer. That put off some of my travelling. The most beautiful place in Norway I have been is Geiranger Fjord. Absolutely breath taking! That was in May of 2016.

In June of 2016, we went to Bristol, England for We Love the 80's music festival. We stayed with some friends and went to Cheddar, England, I got to ride on a Harley Davidson hog through the beautiful English countryside. On that trip we also saw the world's first suspension bridge in Bristol. We also had a tour of the not even open yet Bristol City stadium (football, y'all, or soccer as the Yanks say!)

In July of 2016, I went to Nice, France with a friend. We stayed at the beach for 2 blissful, beautiful, hot days and ate wonderful French food and drank delicious French wine. Quick beach trip, but such fun! There was a decadent craft market with all kinds of lovely things. I spent quite a bit on some lovely items!

In March of 2017, I went on a girls trip (jentetur in Norwegian) to ICELAND!!! One of my all time favorite countries! I spent an amazing 4 days visiting the Blue Lagoon, walking and driving around Reykjavik. So many cool things to see and do! We also went to the Thingvir national park to see the famous three waterfalls and to see the geysers! Amazing! Beware if you are vegetarian or vegan in Iceland, it is very expensive. The island is mostly volcanic rock so veg is very costly! I want to revisit when it is summer time! I see enough snow and ice here in Norway! LOL

In June of 2016, we went to Skopelos, Greece. OMG, the food, the food, the food. So good, so tasty, so heavenly! That is what I remember most! LOL, I do love food! On the island of beautiful Skopelos, we took the Mamma Mia tour, and I walked all the hundreds of stairs up to the famous church. Quite an accomplishment I thought given that I was still in chemotherapy treatment! Highly recommend!

In August 2016, we went camping in Dovre Mountain. It was rainy and cold, and there was still snow and ice on the ground! We had a good time, but no fires were allowed so that kind of took away the fun for me. I am a woman who loves a good fire when I am camping! Besides, you cannot make s'mores if there is no fire!

Now I am on to my next big adventure! I am about to spend 7 days in Dublin, Ireland! I cannot wait! I am so very excited. This is the country my forebears came from! This is a trip I have been looking forward to all of my life! And, this will be my very first solo trip ever! This is a big deal for me, as it has been one of my fears for a long time. But I have to face this fear head on and just do it! If you want to see any pictures of these trips, please visit my Facebook page. Just search my name!

All right lovelies, must get on with my day, still have running to do and a house to clean! Blessings and Namaste!

Poetry March 19 2018

This morning I was watching a video and all of sudden I was so inspired to write some poetry. This is the first time in many years that I have felt that spark of inspiration to create poetry. I am not a professional poet, but I felt the flow of the Universe speaking through me and in 15 minutes I wrote 4 different poems. I cannot tell you how exhilarating it was to have that inspiration. I am so grateful and I hope this happens again!

I hope it inspires you or moves you in some way. Please comment and let me know what you think.

Vision                                                                 Cancer
My life                                                                Cancer tries to hold me down
my love                                                               but my soul cries out NO!
my hurt                                                                I will NOT be held back
my pain                                                               I will dance, I will rejoice
driving                                                                For the TRUTH is...
seeking                                                                I am ALIVE!
seeing                                                                  I am ALIVE!
a way                                                                   I am ALIVE!
to light                                                                 And the TRUTH sets me free!
to dreams
not reality                                                         Love
but what                                                            Love is my guide, my partner, my confidant, my joy
can be                                                                I dance, I cry, I hurt, I dream, I rejoice, I exclaim!
That is my vision of me.                                   Because I am LOVE, you are LOVE, we are all LOVE
                                                                          Now and forever, Rejoice, Love, Sing, Dance
My joy                                                              Make your heart burst with LOVE!
my grief
my longing                                                       Infinite
my fear                                                             Who do YOU think YOU are?
driving                                                              asks the world, society, parents, teachers, friends
seeking                                                             mocking, condescending, unkind, unloving...
seeing                                                               I am INFINITE! say I in defiance!
the way                                                             I am anything I can DREAM say in defiance.
to light
to dreams
not reality
but what
will be
That is my vision of me.

End Goal; Play Football (or Soccer) in 1 year!

Hey hey hey all my beautiful peeps out there in the big, beautiful world! I have set some major end goals to achieve in the next year and here is one that I am starting today! I want to play football for a semi-professional women's team in 1 year. This may seem like a daunting task, but I believe in myself and really need to get my fitness level up and going since finishing chemotherapy about 4 months ago. This is day 1 and I am revamping my eating plan, my work out plan and how I treat my body from here on out. I have a long way to go, but I just know I can do it! I have the boots, the ball, the kit and the grit! Today I am getting into the running game slowly by completing three 5 minute all out runs. p.s. I have not run in a LONG time. I just completed the first one and am feeling pretty good. I do not want to push too much to decrease the chances I will hurt myself, so easy as she goes is my mantra this week.

What are your big end goals you want to accomplish this year? Keep an eye on progress reports and maybe even some video footage from me as the months go by! Having metastatic cancer is not going to stop me from doing everything I want to do!

Here is a link to some of what I will be doing in the weeks and months to come! womens-soccer-conditioning  Wish me luck! I am gonna need it, maybe ;)

Here are my stats as of today! I will post weekly to show if I am making improvements or not!

Age: 44
Weight: 65.6 kg
Chest: 32 in
Waist: 34 in
Hips: 37 in
Arms: L - 11 in  R - 11 in
Thighs: L - 21 in R - 21 in

Stephen Hawking Rest In Peace

Sadness, but so much gratitude as well, that is what I feel as I learn about the death of Stephen Hawking. He brought such knowledge, humor and light to the world. His love of physics made the difficult subject accessible to all. He truly was an amazing man and is one of my heroes of this world. Tonight I will be lighting a candle and burning some incense for this most amazing man. He also did a lot for sufferers of ALS and defied his doctors by living so much longer than he was told he would. He showed us all that there is hope. Thank you for all you did, all that you were and all you will do in the hereafter.

Introduction to Natural Whole Life Coaching

End Needless Suffering NOW!

A wonderful way to stop suffering needlessly! Please watch and share the magnificent Mr. Morty Lefkoe's message of hope in this world! 

Stopping Gun Violence

Hello all my lovelies! I have a proposal for you all. In light of the most recent school shooting, I have advocated banning assault rifles. I have received a ton of negative feedback from this advocation. So, after reading a post by my lovely friend Shasta Stewart, I have decided to propose this: Each and every adult shouldHello all my lovelies! I have a proposal for you all. In light of the most recent school shooting, I have advocated banning assault rifles. I have received a ton of negative feedback from this advocation. So, after reading a post by my lovely friend Shasta Stewart, I have decided to propose this: Each and every adult should befriend a child that is an outcast, lonely, or socially isolated. This is a big commitment, but it is of prime importance that we start in our local community. Research shows that a child does better when they have an adult they can depend on. This need not be a parent, family member, or teacher. So, do you think that you have the time and love necessary to befriend and love a child that has been left behind in your community? Love and understanding is the way to solve these problems that our society unfortunately has. Be the change you want to see in the world. Be the love, be the one who understands. Be the LOVE!  

Gun Violence

Yesterday I woke up to the horrifying news that another school shooting had happened. How many people have to die before we as Americans stand up and say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I thought for sure something would change after the incredibly sad school shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary, but our lawmakers seem not to care one bit that children are being murdered in their supposedly safe schools. There is a social media campaign gaining significance to walk out of schools and not come back until gun reform is real. I do not understand why anyone needs an AR-15 automatic rifle...just what is so "fun" about shooting 45 rounds a minute? I mean, really are hunters using these on defenseless animals, or is it more likely that these were simply made to slaughter as many people or animals as possible? There is a scary culture of death and guns in the USA. You do not find this in other parts of the world and no where in the world is there such a problem with mass shootings at schools. I have lived in Norway for the last three years and I have no fear of gun violence happening to my stepson here. I am not afraid to go to a movie theater, nor a nightclub, nor a concert, nor a shopping center, because there is strict gun control here. Guns are not banned and many Norwegians have guns, but the regulation is so much better here. Americans really need to rethink the role of guns in their lives. I understand the 2nd Amendment arguments, but let us also realize that the Constitution was written hundreds of years ago, long before the AR-15 was invented. There are too many guns in the US and it is way too easy to get a hold of one. This must change. Let us live in a world where the peoples will is the guiding principle for our lawmakers. I urge all of the parents, teachers and anyone who cares to walk out of schools until lawmakers can actually get their heads, and the NRA, out of their collective bums.

100 Days of Transformation

Hello again my darlings! Sorry for the absence, things have been a little chaotic here. I have been struggling with some decisions that I needed to make. I watched this hilarious and eye opening Ted Talk about not giving a fuck. It made a lot of sense to me and made me question where I was giving my energy away that was not good for me. I am starting to feel a whole lot better about my life. Some of the decisions I have made are to leave my husband, to leave Norway and to stop Norwegian language classes. I wrestled with feelings of shame, disappointment, heartache, loneliness, fear and many others. I suffered with writers block at the time too. So I spent much of the time working through my feelings and for the past 26 days I have been utilizing the questions from 100 Days of Transformation. These are 100 questions that you reflect on and then write about in order to combat the chaos of the mind and start feeling grounded again. They are helping me to find myself again after all the pain of impending divorce, relocating back to the US, and of course, metastatic cancer. I have been struggling with what to do with my life since I am no longer working and on disability. I am a certified Life Coach, but have had no luck utilizing this certification in Norway. I am also taking a Reiki master course and hope to have that completed by April. Life is a never ending journey of self discovery! Take charge of your life and find your passion! There is life after a diagnosis.

Daily Sadhana

Today I will discuss my daily devotion, or sadhana, that I practice in the morning. Practicing a daily devotion is as important to me as breathing, so I try to practice every day. It fills me with not only joy, but also contentment. I draw my inspiration for my daily sadhana from Kundalini yoga and Buddhism. In future posts I will go into more depth of the inspirations I receive from yoga and Buddhism. I am also influenced by Hinduism in some parts of my daily devotion. I have read many texts about kundalini yoga, Buddhism and Hinduism. These eastern practices feel natural and energizing to me in many ways that western practices do not. I feel a connection to earth and all the people and animals and rocks, trees, etc.

Here are the guidelines for Sadhana from Yogi Bhajan:

Daily Sadhana
Practice before sunrise.
No meal before (can have a few almonds).
Take a cold shower.
Wear white or light colored clothes in natural fabrics.
Use a head covering.
Take 30 seconds or more between exercises to relax and be present.

1. Do some wake up exercises or Breath of Fire (in or out of bed) to get you going.
2. Take a cold shower (or end a warm one with cold) to stimulate blood flow to the capillaries.
3. Sit down on mat and take a few minutes to be silently present to your breath and feel the sensations in your body.
4. Tune in with the Adi Mantra 3 times: Ong Namo Guru Dev Namo
5. Do warm up exercises of your choice.
6. Perform your chosen kriya.
7. Deeply relax.
8. Meditate.
9. Enjoy silent time with yourself.
10. Conclude with a prayer, closing song*, and three long Sat Nams. (long on Sat, short on Nam)
11. Do some standing grounding exercises, if you wish.
12. Do some dancing or free form movement, if you wish.

*Closing song: May the long time sun shine upon you, All love surround you, and the pure light within you, guide your way on. 

Warm up Exercises:

1. Pelvis rotations, 26 rotations or 1-2 minutes each side
2. Spinal flex, 108 times or 1-3 minutes; to end: Inhale deeply, hold the breath, apply rootlock, exhale and relax.
3. Spinal flex on heels, 1-2 minutes
4. Neck rolls, at least 1 minute each side
5. Side twists (on heels), 1-2 minutes or 26 times; to end: Inhale, center, hold the breath, apply rootlock, exhale, relax and feel the energy circulate, especially at heart center.
6. Side bends (can be done standing), 26 times or 1-2 minutes.
7. Shoulder shrugs, 1-2 minutes; to end: Inhale up, hold the breath, apply rootlock, exhale and relax.
8. Cobra pose with long, deep breathing or Breath of Fire, 2-3 minutes; to end: inhale, hold the breath, pull energy up with rootlock. Exhale very slowly and come down one vertebra at a time. Relax 1-3 minutes.
9. Rock and Roll on spine, 1-2 minutes
10. Alternate leg stretches, spread legs wide, continue with powerful breathing 1-2 minutes each side.
11. Life Nerve (hamstring stretch) breathe long and deep or Breath of Fire, 1-2 minutes on each side; to end: inhale deeply and exhale several times, deepening stretch. Slowly come up. Bounce legs and switch sides. 
12. Cat Cow, 1-3 minutes; to end: inhale in saggy cow, hold, pull energy up the spine with rootlock. Exhale and relax on heels. Sit quietly and let the breath slow down. Feel the energy circulate. Concentrate on the 3rd Eye.
13. Bridge, 12 times up to 26 times; to end: Inhale up, hold the breath for ten seconds, pull in the navel and apply rootlock. Then relax down, stretching the legs out. Totally relax and feel the energizing effects of the exercise.
14. Deep Relaxation. 

Feelings, oh feelings...January 4th 2018

Hello all my lovelies! Today is a rough day for me. I am feeling a general dread that feels like a shroud over my head. I skipped my Norwegian class today as I was exhausted when I woke up this morning. I went back to sleep and slept a few more hours. After some reflection time, I have realized that seeing my soon to be ex-husband has hit me harder than I thought possible. It is tough to see someone who embodies your sense of failure day in and day out. So I need to come up with a way to deal with this negative feeling. It is no secret that I still love him, but we are not working in any way. My illness really shook me and I admit that I made some terrible mistakes that have profoundly affected the way we interact. What I find shocking is that there is really no way to deal with the feelings that come with a fatal diagnosis. Everything I tried seemed to make things worse. At first, I was just in shock, then the grief came. It hit me so hard, harder than anything had ever effected me before or since. I fell into a deep dark hole that I could not seem to get out of. I felt suicidal and nothing was worth living for. Then he decided to leave me to go on vacation during the absolute worst time for me. That hurt me even more deeply, and I have never forgiven him for that. I am not sure I can forgive him. But I need to, not for him, but for me. As Louise Hay wrote: The reality of true forgiveness lies in setting yourself free from the pain. I need to release the pain of obliterated expectations of my marriage, my life, my past, my future. This is the only way to really set myself up for success in the future. I need to let go, surrender, love myself, care for myself. This is simply what I must do to survive. The world can be an uncaring and harsh place, but seek peace and love inside and the world ceases to be so scary and hard. Know that I love you all and want the best for you! I just ask that you keep me in your thoughts and prayers so I can recover from this current nightmare existence.

https://www.louisehay.com/forgiveness/

Positive Word of the Day: Trusting 

Affirmation of the Day: There is always a new and better way for me to experience life. I forgive and release the past. I move into joy.

New Year Day 2018

Hello all my lovelies! Today is the beginning of a whole new year, filled to the brim with potential and love! I hope your New Years Eve festivities were super fun! I spent the evening with my wonderful son watching from the balcony and windows of our apartment the fantastic fireworks displays by the people of Oslo.

Positive Word of the Day: Fearless

fearless: adjective; showing a lack of fear
synonyms: bold, brave, courageous, intrepid, valiant, valorous, gallant, plucky, lion-hearted, stout-hearted, heroic, daring, dynamic, spirited, mettlesome, confident, audacious, indomitable, doughty

Affirmation of the Day: I am fearless.