Caravan walking from Central America to the USA

Hello all my darlings! Yesterday I was challenged by a friend to put my money where my mouth is and try to help the refugees walking to the USA. So I rose to the call and started a group and a fundraiser on Facebook. I am hoping to expand this to a website and raise as much money and a network of people that will provide shelter and transportation to help these refugees. The group on Facebook is called Mutual Aid and Homes for Caravaners located here: Mutual Aid and Homes for Caravaners   It is a nascent group, and I have contacted several media outlets in the hopes of getting some publicity for the group. I also need a contact information for people at the border to help coordinate transportation, shelter and food, medical supplies, etc. This is a huge undertaking, but with all the loving people out there in this country, I know we can make it happen. Please join the group and join me on a Facebook live discussion on Monday, November 5th at 6pm PST. Lets show the Trump administration and the trumpsters that there are Americans with compassion and love for we are all one family, the Human Family!

Stephen Hawking Rest In Peace

Sadness, but so much gratitude as well, that is what I feel as I learn about the death of Stephen Hawking. He brought such knowledge, humor and light to the world. His love of physics made the difficult subject accessible to all. He truly was an amazing man and is one of my heroes of this world. Tonight I will be lighting a candle and burning some incense for this most amazing man. He also did a lot for sufferers of ALS and defied his doctors by living so much longer than he was told he would. He showed us all that there is hope. Thank you for all you did, all that you were and all you will do in the hereafter.

Life and Death

Life...Death...what is in between these two things? For me it is a debilitating depression that seeks to destroy everything. Pills do not work, therapy does not work, positive thinking does not work. I have tried all these and so much more. Eat right, watch funny movies and shows, read inspiring stories and books. So many people feel the same way that I do. The blackness comes no matter what else is going on. I cry even when I see something beautiful. I am crying right now. For so many of us, life is so very difficult. Even though I have a nice, warm house to live in, food to eat and nice clothes to wear, I feel so lost. I know that so many others feel this way too. Why, then, do we all feel so alone?

Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night crying in my sleep. I have suffered from depression most of my life. I also think I have PTSD (undiagnosed) due to all the emotional trauma I have been through. So many people are emotionally repressed. This makes it difficult to even see the depression. I am an empath, so I feel others pain, so much that it can be damn overwhelming at times. Add to this a terminal illness and it is a recipe for disaster. It would be so much easier if there were more people talking about the toll a terminal illness puts on the one dying, but also about the toll it takes on the family as well. All this taboo nonsense about keeping your emotions locked away is so outdated, but people do not change so easily, even when it is the best thing for them and everyone else. Why do friends walk away with no word? Why does family turn their back? Why do spouses refuse to understand? Why do people tell you to stop being so emotional?

Do people really think I want to have depression? No one wants depression...no one wants to be suicidal. But people are so wrapped up in their own dramas they cannot see past their own nose. It hurts to feel so alone and unwanted. I try my best to be a great friend, yet it yields me nothing but sadness. Where did my best friend go? Why did she turn her back on me? All I did was get sick. Is it that being around sick people scares healthy people so much? This four year journey with cancer has been its own kind of hell. I would not wish this on anyone.

But, all is not lost. I have attempted suicide twice in the last 3 years. Yet, I am still here. I try to smile through the physical and emotional pain. I try to be funny and sweet. But, the truth is, I spend and have spent the hardest times alone.